Coffee Convo

Non-fiction, Personal, Writing

Ok, so it’s not really a coffee this time. It’s actually a green tea with honey and an asiago bagel but that’s only because it’s 8,000 degrees here today and I couldn’t be bothered to drink anything that wasn’t refreshing. It’s only May and I’m already so over sun. I mean I’m not asking for 7 foot snow again, I would just like it if it was always 60 degrees and cloudy.

Since I am posting regularly again I figured I should give you a bit of an update and since I haven’t done a coffee convo in a hot minute, I figured I would share my asiago bagel with you all.

For starters, I am turning 20 in a few weeks which feels bizarre. A lot of me still feels like I’m only 14 and the other part of me is coming to terms with the fact that my sister graduates in a couple days. YES MAISY JAM HAS A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. I’m honestly probably more proud of her than I was of myself. She works insanely hard and is also incredibly smart in ways I have never been and I can’t wait to see where her life takes her now that she has been released from prison/the public school system.

Summer has also officially begun which means lots of plans are being made. I am making a trip to Idaho over the 4th of July with my family as well as trying to figure out all of the logistics of moving, which, if everything goes to plan, should be happening in late August.

My asiago bagel and tea

My asiago bagel and green tea.

I’m trying to find time to spend with all the people I’ve known for years as well as make connections with new people and it really brings to light just how many people come and go in your life. There are people that I still have genuine love for that I haven’t seen in years. It really puts into perspective how much time we set aside for things that don’t give us the love that family and friends give. We put work, money, and material things over interactions that could change our lives and that’s crazy to me.

I haven’t been reading hardly at all this year, which is frustrating because there’s so much I’ve been wanting to read. I think I need to work more on prioritizing the things I love over the things I have to do. I put work over a lot of things, and while I do generally like my job, My life has taught me that I need to make time to do things I like because, I don’t get to re-do life, and I should probably spend it doing things I love.

I’m also working on not caring what other people think about my life. I generally don’t care what others think when it comes to the way I look or act, especially when it comes to strangers. Lately though, I’ve been focusing on not needing validation from the people I’m close to. Even the people I love aren’t going to understand me and I need to accept that and be ok with it.

These are just a couple things that have been thinking about lately. If you have anything to add, I always appreciate your comments and messages, and if you want to see more photos like the one in this post, please follow me on instagram @avejam_ . Thank you for reading and you will hear from me on Monday!

– Avery

10 Ways To Advocate For Yourself

Personal, Writing

I am a person that tries to avoid confrontation, but sometimes there are situations when you just really need to stand up for yourself. It took me many years to learn how to stand up for myself without being a huge brat, so I hope these tips will help you improve your argumentative and advocacy skills.

  1. Make your goals clear: When trying to get something in your life it is important to make sure that all parties involved, understand exactly what it is you want and what will happen if you don’t get what you want. This will make it easier for the other parties to express their opinions on the subject.
  2. Crying gets you no where: I’m a big crybaby. always have been and always will be, but when you are trying to gain something personally, it is important to stay calm so that people know you are serious.
  3. If something isn’t fair, fight it: Sometimes things aren’t worth the trouble, but if you know that something is wrong and a change needs to be made then you have to fight it! Nobody is going to say you’re wrong for standing up for what you want. If anything they are going to think you are better for coming forward about it.
  4. Don’t let people talk over you: Even though you should stay calm, you shouldn’t let people walk all over you. You want what you want for a reason, let that reason be known, and don’t let anyone being louder than you take that away.
  5. Avoid being talked in a circle: There are times where I have gone in to have a conversation with a superior and have come out an hour later to realize that I didn’t get to say anything I wanted to say. People will avoid talking about things if it doesn’t benefit them so make sure that before the conversation is wrapped up your topic has been open for discussion.
  6. If all else fails, e-mail: When you just can’t talk to someone about something, e-mail them about it! E-mails look professional and are a good way to call attention to a problem.
  7. Have support from others: Whether it is in the workplace or elsewhere, it is important to have someone backing you. This way you aren’t alone and have opinions to provide validity.
  8. Don’t be discouraged: Things aren’t going to change right away. It’s important to stand by your opinion even if that means it takes a couple of tries.
  9. Act like an adult: If you act like a child you’re going to be treated like one, so stand up tall and be willing to accept compromise.
  10. Remember that it’s going to be ok: Even if it’s been years and your problem has still not been heard or fixed, it is important to remember that there are always other options. It’s not going to be bad forever. 🙂