Coffee Convo

Ok, so it’s not really a coffee this time. It’s actually a green tea with honey and an asiago bagel but that’s only because it’s 8,000 degrees here today and I couldn’t be bothered to drink anything that wasn’t refreshing. It’s only May and I’m already so over sun. I mean I’m not asking for 7 foot snow again, I would just like it if it was always 60 degrees and cloudy.

Since I am posting regularly again I figured I should give you a bit of an update and since I haven’t done a coffee convo in a hot minute, I figured I would share my asiago bagel with you all.

For starters, I am turning 20 in a few weeks which feels bizarre. A lot of me still feels like I’m only 14 and the other part of me is coming to terms with the fact that my sister graduates in a couple days. YES MAISY JAM HAS A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA. I’m honestly probably more proud of her than I was of myself. She works insanely hard and is also incredibly smart in ways I have never been and I can’t wait to see where her life takes her now that she has been released from prison/the public school system.

Summer has also officially begun which means lots of plans are being made. I am making a trip to Idaho over the 4th of July with my family as well as trying to figure out all of the logistics of moving, which, if everything goes to plan, should be happening in late August.

My asiago bagel and green tea.

I’m trying to find time to spend with all the people I’ve known for years as well as make connections with new people and it really brings to light just how many people come and go in your life. There are people that I still have genuine love for that I haven’t seen in years. It really puts into perspective how much time we set aside for things that don’t give us the love that family and friends give. We put work, money, and material things over interactions that could change our lives and that’s crazy to me.

I haven’t been reading hardly at all this year, which is frustrating because there’s so much I’ve been wanting to read. I think I need to work more on prioritizing the things I love over the things I have to do. I put work over a lot of things, and while I do generally like my job, My life has taught me that I need to make time to do things I like because, I don’t get to re-do life, and I should probably spend it doing things I love.

I’m also working on not caring what other people think about my life. I generally don’t care what others think when it comes to the way I look or act, especially when it comes to strangers. Lately though, I’ve been focusing on not needing validation from the people I’m close to. Even the people I love aren’t going to understand me and I need to accept that and be ok with it.

These are just a couple things that have been thinking about lately. If you have anything to add, I always appreciate your comments and messages, and if you want to see more photos like the one in this post, please follow me on instagram @avejam_ . Thank you for reading and you will hear from me on Monday!

– Avery

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The Last Day

When I woke up this morning I felt tired. I, as usual, had not gotten enough sleep the night before and I mostly just wanted to stay in bed forever. Then I remembered that today was my last day of high school. Ever. The realization was emphasized when my dad came into my room hugging me and crying. In his defense it is also his and my mom’s anniversary and his 47th birthday, so today was a lot of emotions for him.

I feel very cliche writing this graduation post, but I feel like lasts are an important thing. Everything you do in your everyday life suddenly seems momentous because it’s the last time you’ll ever do it. This morning I cleaned out my locker and threw away my binders for the last time. Today is also the last day I’ll have to deal with my shitty locker that never opens. It’s a very weird feeling.

I tried to treat today like it was any other day but it wasn’t. Everyone was emotional. I received some great gifts from some of my favorite teachers and it is so weird to think that a lot of the people I have seen in the hall today I will probably never see again. I’m not sad about it because I truly never liked high school and the last thing I want to do is stay here longer, but jumping off that edge and going from spending everyday in an institution to spending every day doing whatever you want is a big feeling.

I feel free but I also feel like I have a lot to figure out and work on. There are no more excuses left to make. It’s time for us all to do things with our knowledge and it’s finally time to live.

Thank you to my family and friends who have helped me throughout my life. Especially my mom, dad, and sister. I plan to start posting 2-3 days a week as soon as school gets out (in 30 minutes). I have exciting things planned, and to all my fellow graduates; good luck on the next step of your life.