Hello all, It’s been awhile since I did one of these coffee conversations and I have a lot to update you on so get yourself some coffee (or whatever beverage you want I guess) and settle in.
Today’s coffee convo is a little different because I normally write these in a cute little coffee shop that I can describe to you, today however I am sipping a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee and writing this on my phone in a car repair place. I feel like this change is a pretty accurate representation of my life right now. I feel very much like I’m faking it.
In this first month of 2019, I have been sick 3 times, been laid off from my job, struggled to find a new job, withdrew from second semester of my sophomore year of college, and as of today apparently broke my car again. Oh and the heat in my apartment has been broken for half the month. If my landlord is reading this; FUCKING EMAIL ME BACK.
Yea, so not an ideal start to the year. I can’t say I’m surprised because this is pretty typical in my life. It’s always half a step forward and five hundred steps back. It’s not like I went into the year expecting anything glorious to happen but I was at least hoping to keep my job.
Part of the reason getting a job is so hard for me is because I hate calling people on the phone. Answering the phone I have no problem with but for some reason every time I need to call someone to check if they call my application my body decides I also need to start crying profusely for no goddamn reason. Being a crybaby is so damn inconvenient sometimes.
I’m also even more of a crybaby when I don’t get enough sleep which these days is everyday because my insomnia has hit me hard this month. This is great for my reading goal! But not so great for everything else…or the crying. Definitely not good for the crying.
I grouped quitting school for the semester with all the bad stuff but it’s not really that bad. There was no classes that I wanted to take available online so I decided to save the money and work for a semester while I decide whether or not I want to transfer to school in Colorado.
Vampire Weekend released new music for the first time in five years yesterday. In the song “Harmony Hall” there’s the lyric “but every time a problem ends another one begins” and I feel like that really sums up life. I also heard this lyric right after talking to my dad about how life is about problem solving and how problems never stop coming you just get better at solving them. He also said you either solve the problems or you spend your life hiding in a sad corner. That reminded me of another lyric that is in Harmony Hall and is a lyric Vampire Weekend has used in the past which is “I don’t want to live like this but I don’t want to die.” I very strongly believe in signs from the universe (which I know is confusing since I’m an atheist) and this whole prophetic song thing seemed like a sign that stuff will be alright. Or at least I will be after it all. That or my dad and Ezra Koenig are the same person. I would say both options are equally likely.
Either way I was just told there is nothing wrong with my car, and the oil change guys were just dumb. So there’s that problem taken care of, now to wait for the next.